Judgement

It’s just a word but it brings so many negative feelings and emotions to people.

What was your initial feeling when you read it?

Did it make you shiver? Or did it make you go ‘damned right!’

One of my pet hates is when people are judgy and ooze that negative, soul sucking energy about them. But that is all about them, not me or you or whoever they are judgy about!

I actually think judgement is a great word and also a very positive word. 

The dictionary meaning is:

 “the ability to make considered decisions or come to sensible conclusions”

Personally I prefer this meaning:

 “the mental ability to understand something, form an opinion and reach a decision”

Now that definition is empowering! The ability to understand something. YES! 

But…..we don’t give ourselves the time to do that, most days. This is where the ‘judgy’ bit comes in and turns into a negative. We are in a hurry. Or we are under pressure at work. Or we just don’t care enough to find out more before we understand. Or we just want someone to tell us! So we take someone else's opinion or their perception and take it as our own. Then we act on that. 

Sound familiar?

How many times have you been caught out by that, either at work or in your personal life? When you have finally found out more information and you get that feeling of…oh shit, I got that wrong. It doesn’t feel good, does it?

This is where we have lost our connection to our own supercharged computer and don’t trust those thoughts that come into our head. We are too quick to look for the quick fix or ready answer from someone else, because we are too busy….or just not prioritising well. Deep down we know it's not right. We get that funny feeling in your belly or ‘just something’ doesn’t feel right. But we ignore it more often than not.  The good news is that you can plug back into your onboard computer and intuitive thoughts so they work with you. We learn to trust our spidey sense again and make sure we give ourselves time to think, to listen, to acknowledge and to make informed decisions or judgements. You know you’ve got it right because it ‘feels’ right. 

Do you remember the last time something felt right? If not, we need to talk!

But it’s not just about finding the answer. It’s actually the process you go through to find the answer that’s the important bit. This is where we learn. We challenge ourselves. We challenge other points of view. We challenge the facts and perceived facts. We create an inquisitive mindset that just grows and grows.

However, this is also the bit we find the hardest - breaking the habit of putting others' thoughts and views before our own. This is not surprising. How many years have we defaulted to this? Even in school we are taught to listen to the teacher and not question. Do you remember ‘wee Jonny’ who ALWAYS asked questions and drove everyone nuts?! You just wanted to get on with the work or get out the classroom to break. Maybe now you see wee Jonny was actually very in tune with his supercharged computer and he was trying to find out more information. He wanted to make an informed decision as he wasn’t feeling quite right about something. Well done wee Jonny! You drove me nuts in school, but my god I wish I’d listened to you more and followed your lead. 

Do you ever see people and think whatever they touch seems to turn to gold? Yes? One part of this is their ability to use and trust their own judgement and intuition. They find out for themselves if they need more information, rather than taking a shortcut and someone else’s point of view or fact, as they will state it to be. They sit and see if it feels right.

These people also have a long-term view of what they want to achieve or direction they are going in. Their compass is set and they are prepared to correct their course along the way to ensure success on their terms. This doesn’t mean they get it right straight away. It means they see when they need to take action to stay on track, and they trust their own judgement to take the right action for them.

So judgement can be both a negative thing and a positive.

Do you agree?

What way do you want it to show up in your life?