BALANCE - WHAT DOES THIS MEAN TO YOU?
If you think Balance means the same to everyone and looks the same, think again!
Just stop for a minute and think what balance actually means to you. Do you consider yourself to be a balanced person? What even does that mean?? What about your work/life balance that everyone keeps going on about? What does that look like to you?
Balance is often misunderstood and many assume that for balance you need to make things equal. Hmm, interesting….or poppycock?!
The dictionary defines balance as “a means of judging or deciding: a counterbalance of weight, force or influence; mental and emotional steadiness”.
Judging…in balance???? Well! That jumped off the page and slapped me. I would never put those two words together when I’m talking about balance.
This has reared another blog post titled ‘Judging’ for me as I automatically assumed it was a bad thing….so watch this space! 🤣
But back to balance. If you think Balance means the same to everyone and looks the same, think again! And…why are we so obsessed with ‘getting the balance right’?
Great question and I will come back to this to share my thoughts.
So what do I mean by balance?
Here is my simple meaning of balance: Balance is a feeling of “I’m in control of my time and it’s
working for me”. I have the proportions of time right for me and my priorities. (Lesson No 1)
Balance to me looks totally different to what it looks like to you, and that can change on a daily basis.
It all goes back to that simple meaning of working for me.
Feeling balanced makes me feel happy. All those ducks are in a row ( a wiggly one) and life is on a roll.
For example, I have 2 boys who have busy lives and that means a lot of my time is taken up organising and taking them wherever they need to be.
I run my business around my family priorities, so I feel in control of my time and the right balance for me is there. Yes I could always use another few hours in a day….but would I appreciate it or actually need it?
No.
That doesn’t mean I get it right every day. I sure as hell didn’t get it right when I became a mum for the second time. In fact, the only thing I was managing to balance was my baby in one arm and a pile of paperwork in the other!
I was running on empty and just trying to survive the day. Literally.
So how did I address this imbalance and create MY balance?
It was actually very simple once I stopped and took the time to think about the basics of what was important to me. However, making that decision to stop and think was the hardest part.
Question: What was I willing to Stop, Start & Change? (Lesson No 2)
There are many days I am run ragged because I revert to ‘the old Jo’ and wondering where the time has gone and why have I not managed to fit everything in that was on my ‘to do’ list.
This is ok. This is allowed. This is a reminder I am human. (Lesson No 3)
The big difference to me now compared to the younger version of me is I now have the ability to check and challenge myself and take action when needed.
To rebalance. To have perspective. To give myself a break. To enjoy the journey, even with the detours.
The detours always turn out to be a wealth of knowledge and experience I was looking for.
How very clever of the Universe to provide this for me. How very clever of me to go with the flow! (Lesson No 4)
This is why I do what I do, running my online business, so I can spend more time with my boys (big and small) and support them when and where they need it.
Everything is in balance for me.
This is why I became my own boss and work for myself.
I chose to leave my corporate role as a Director, not because the workload was too great, but because other people’s perceptions were unrealistic and didn’t fit with my perception & reality of a healthy, balanced lifestyle.
Everything is in balance for me.
You don’t have to work for yourself to create the ideal balance in your life.
You DO have to ask yourself some important questions to understand what you actually want your life to look like.
It’s about you and what works for you.
I asked the question earlier about why we are so obsessed with getting the balance right.
I am quite sure there are literally thousands of answers to this question but here is what I think causes a lot of added anxiety and pressure to get the balance right…..social media and keeping up with the Jones’s.
How many times have you caught yourself comparing your life with other people’s…or the lives they portray on social media?
How many times have you felt they must have a secret to living their lifestyle instead of how you feel, chasing your tail and ‘just not getting it right’ or ‘just not how you think it should be’?
Stop comparing your life with other people’s…or the lives they portray.
It’s all very well comparing and contrasting, but not when you are comparing a perception with a reality. That old adage of you can’t compare apples with pears is bang on the money.
Surely we are doing ourselves a dis-service by comparing ourselves to others?
I’ve also got to ask the question…so what? What difference does it really make to me what other people have or do? None.
Let’s get to the basics of what we really need to focus on:
WHAT BALANCE MEANS TO US and
WHY WE WANT TO HAVE IT?
If we focus our attention on these two questions we can start to make progress.
If we try to create a version of someone else’s balance in our lives, we are setting ourselves up for a fall and also a miserable existence. I know. I’ve tried. Learn from my mistakes.
So now you know (or are reassured) YOUR balance can look completely lop-sided or different to others, do you know what getting the balance right really looks like for you?
Easier said than done, huh? BUT, it is so important that you understand what it is and what it looks
like for you. If not, how can you even begin to achieve it?
So, how do you work it out?
Here are some simple steps to take if you want to get some clarity.
1) Know who you are
● What makes you tick?
● What are your makers and breakers?
● Who looks back at you in the mirror? Is this the real you or the you that others
expect to see?
2) What are your priorities? - Look at your day
What are your:
● Have to’s
● Wanna do’s
● Doing but don’t need to do’s
3) What are the things that make you you and lift your mood/vibration?
4) With all the answers above, how do they feature in your daily routine?
● What is going well and should stay?
● What is missing?
● Have you got the amount of time right for each activity?
● What does your ideal day look like?
● Is this sustainable?
By answering the questions above, you will have a clearer idea of what balance means to you and how you can create it on a daily basis.
Be honest with yourself - time to get your big girl pants on!
However, please remember life is never straight forward and you may find yourself having to revisit these questions several times before you find the right balance for you.
THIS IS OK! THIS IS GOOD! THIS IS YOU WORKING OUT WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU!
Be honest with your answers and you will be able to move forward much quicker and with clarity. If it feels ‘yucky’, do something to change it.
Be kind to yourself. Remember we learn from our mistakes. We make them for a good reason, not to beat ourselves up over and cast them back at ourselves for the next 40 years! Mistakes help us grow.
P.S. Enjoy the individuality of your own balance but don’t let people tell you it’s wrong. They….are…not….YOU!
NEXT STEPS: Balance is an integral part of the “Bring your own shit” 1-2-1 Programme created to help people
restore balance and perspective in their lives, release self-doubt and create real change - be, do and have the awesome life you want and deserve.
Book a call with me today to see how I can help you achieve your balance whilst propelling yourself forward on YOUR journey. https://calendly.com/thejobell/30min